Day 20 ~ Difficult time in my life:
Nothing I can think of compares to the struggle it was for me to kick booze. I had to recognize what it was that drove me to drink, and deal with the horrors of my past that were keeping me sick. I realized that it was me re-victimizing myself every single time I drank, and it was also going to have to be me that saved myself. That’s what I did. I went to a natural food store, and consulted with a specialist there. I described to her my desire to detox my body the most efficient and gentle way possible (without heavy-duty liver detox, unless I needed to further down the road), and she instructed me to an herbal remedy I would take in pill-form multiple times per day for 3-months. In addition to the remedy, I also cut the processed foods from our diet, and we went from semi-vegetarian to vegan in only a few, short years.
In hindsight, the actual quitting drink was not nearly as hard as addressing the driving force behind my drinking. That part was ugly and horrifying. It still is ugly and horrifying, but it does not control me anymore. I refuse to be as sick as my secrets, and I will not let the ghost of a pedophile and his repugnant doings steer my ship to ruin. I’m the captain of my ship, and although it took me a long, hard time to wake the fuck up, I’m the one behind the wheel. Negative energy can get out of my fucking way, because I’m prepared to drive right over it, back up, and drive over it again.