Grief is a surreal place, caught somewhere between hearts bursting with love and breaking from loss.

So much has happened in the time that I’ve been away.

My sweet Mum was taken via ambulance and admitted to hospital on July 14, 2016, due to vomiting and diarrhoea. Her fever was high, and her breathing was short and laboured. Mum was moved from emergency intake to a unit the following day. The doctors did all they could to address her vomiting and diarrhoea by changing her feeding tube routine, but the best results were when her feeds were dramatically reduced to 1 canister of “formula” per day. I had been reducing her feeds, as well, because I felt in my gut that she was having trouble tolerating the intake, and her body was not processing properly what she was getting. I knew this was an early stage of ultimately losing her, and that made it proper to explore what our next steps would be. It was not an easy choice to make, but it was both medically responsible and ethically sound to proceed with Mum’s well-being and comfort as our priority. I discussed hospice placement with Mum’s attending physician, and she began the process.

Mum was transferred to a hospice in the late afternoon of July 26, 2016, and had received her last feed of 150 ml earlier that morning. While in hospice Mum got water flushes via her feeding tube, as well as sips of water by mouth.

Mum lasted until August 11, 2016, when she passed away peacefully at 01:00. She had my big brother and sister-in-law by her side when she took her last breaths, as I had recently returned home with my niece to grab a few things, rest a bit, then return to let my bother and SIL sleep. It was the night nurse who called at 01:01 to let me know Mum had passed, and we all (myself, my niece, my mister, my kids, and some very dear friends) returned immediately to the hospice.

We stood around Mum and listened to music. We kissed her goodbye. We cried. We hugged. We cried.

Right around 03:00 on August 11, 2016, we watched as two men from the funeral home took Mum away.

On August 12, 2016, we (my brother, SIL, niece, and I) went to the funeral home to make arrangements for Mum’s cremation.

On August 13, 2016, I returned to the funeral home with my mister to identify Mum’s body and spend an hour with her to say goodbye. The picture below is from that day.

This is a terribly painful post to write. Grief is a surreal place, caught somewhere between hearts bursting with love and breaking from loss.

Inspired to Abundance 2016 – Sum 5

Now things are getting interesting!

The sum to spend is $2500:

$65 – Billie Piper (Doctor Who)

$50 – Clive Standen (Vikings)

$40 – Finn Jones (GoT)

$50 – Jason Isaacs (Harry Potter)

$65 – John Barrowman (Doctor Who)

$65 – Karl Urban (LOTR – Two Towers)

$60 – Peter Mayhew (Star Wars)

$80 – Tom Felton (Harry Potter)

$65 – Alan Tudyk (Firefly)

$100 – Stan Lee (Comics of Pure Awesome)

$140 – Harry Potter Duo (Jason Isaacs & Tom Felton)

$150 – Doctor Who Duo (John Barrowman & Billie Piper)

$600 – Autographs

$600 – Spending Cash for 4-Days of Expo

$370 – Eating Expenses for 4-Days of Expo

$2500

∴ I am so excited for the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo coming up at the end of April. My ghouls are totally looking forward to it, too! If I had an extra $2500 laying around right now and price was no object, I’d put it all into photo ops and autographs for memories our family will love.

Inspired to Abundance Exercise 

| Photo via Calgary Expo |

| Photo via Calgary Expo |

Inspired to Abundance 2016 – Sum 4

| Photo via Google |

| Photo via Google |

This one gets me giddy!

The sum to spend is $1000:

$720 – Adult Canadian Passports x 6

$120 – Child’s Canadian Passports x 2

$80 – Passport Photos x 8

$60 – for  Mobile Notary Public to Notarise the Documents and Photos

$20 – for Registered Letter to Ship/Send the Documents in

$1000

∴ If I had an extra $1000 laying around, I would get passports sorted for my entire family.

Inspired to Abundance Exercise