Day 20 ~ Difficult Time in My Life

Black Wings

Day 20 ~ Difficult time in my life:

Nothing I can think of compares to the struggle it was for me to kick booze. I had to recognize what it was that drove me to drink, and deal with the horrors of my past that were keeping me sick. I realized that it was me re-victimizing myself every single time I drank, and it was also going to have to be me that saved myself. That’s what I did. I went to a natural food store, and consulted with a specialist there. I described to her my desire to detox my body the most efficient and gentle way possible (without heavy-duty liver detox, unless I needed to further down the road), and she instructed me to an herbal remedy I would take in pill-form multiple times per day for 3-months. In addition to the remedy, I also cut the processed foods from our diet, and we went from semi-vegetarian to vegan in only a few, short years.

In hindsight, the actual quitting drink was not nearly as hard as addressing the driving force behind my drinking. That part was ugly and horrifying. It still is ugly and horrifying, but it does not control me anymore. I refuse to be as sick as my secrets, and I will not let the ghost of a pedophile and his repugnant doings steer my ship to ruin. I’m the captain of my ship, and although it took me a long, hard time to wake the fuck up, I’m the one behind the wheel. Negative energy can get out of my fucking way, because I’m prepared to drive right over it, back up, and drive over it again.

31-Day Blog Challenge

Day 16 ~ The Top of My Bucket List

Sand Bucket

Photo via Google

Day 16 ~ The top of my Bucket List:

At the very top of my Bucket List is a strong desire to see the rest of the world. I really want to travel, and would especially love to do it with my Family. There are so many places I want and need to see, and historic locations in Europe are the first of my lengthy list of dream destinations. I want to make peace with my keening demons, and sit quietly in a field somewhere in Germany, where I can lay my anguish over atrocities to rest. I want to reconnect with my ancestry of blacksmiths and sword-smiths, and smell the ancient soot with my own nose. I want to free my soul among the ruins of stone, and see what my forebears saw. History belongs to all of us, and there is so much we can learn if we are willing to listen to the echoes that have passed.

31-Day Blog Challenge

I made it!

Me Day-90/90 Reboot

Today marks Day-90/90 of my extended reboot and juice cleanse. I knew I would make it, but it’s an accomplishment nonetheless for me. I used to be super-lazy with respect to being more active and working out. It’s been a real treat to have my efforts pay off, as well as develop healthier habits I will take well into my “mature adult” years. Yeah, that sounds fucking awful! I have to snort derisively at myself for such grown-up talk. *snort*

I will continue to juice as a supplement, but not exclusively unless it’s my cycle (I turn into an IWillEatALLTheFoods Monster then). I also want to have some on hand for my middle Elfling, to help with her skin breakouts during puberty. Juicing has been an amazing addition to my life, and the lives of my family members. I would recommend anyone add a glass or two (or more) of juice to your diet everyday.